What Not To Wear
by Snape0Crepe
Summary: There is nothing in this world more frustrating than Scorpius Malfoy giving fashion advice. As Rose finds out, there's nothing more tantalising, either...one shot, rated T for language and sexual references. Established S/R, please R&R!


"Merlin's saggy balls!"

"Pardon?"

"I don't have a fucking thing to wear!" Rose Weasley cried, stomping around her bedroom in only her underwear.

"Language, Rose. And bullshit," Scorpius Malfoy said from where he was lying under a pile of cardigans, "Just wear what you were wearing earlier, Rose, you looked great."

Rose spun on her heel, her sheet of auburn hair whirling over her shoulder. "Great!" she screeched, "Great! I looked – looked cheap! And p—" She stopped herself.

"Poor? Is this…is this what all the fuss is about? Merlin, Rose, my parents don't _care_ how much your clothes cost. They'll only care about the person you are," he explained, extricating himself from the mountain of clothing and standing to face her. She reached up to fix his collar, pulling on it sharply. "I'm not stupid, Scorpius Malfoy! I've seen your parents in the _Prophet_, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you know," she accused, gesturing to his tailor-made suit.

She sighed.

"I just want to make a good first impression, Scorpius."

He reached up to push her hair out of her eyes; in her frenzied searching it had formed a veil over her face. "You will. Clothes have nothing to do with that. They'll love you, I promise. Father's different, he's nothing like what your parents have probably told you about him, and – and Mother will absolutely adore you. Regardless of what you're wearing."

"Well, I can't very well go in my knickers, can I?"

Scorpius smirked, "I…I wouldn't be the right person to consult about that. You know what I'd say…"

"Oh, shut it, I look like a troll anyway," she said, pinching the sides of her legs. Scorpius knelt down in front of her and kissed each one of her freckled kneecaps. He looked up and their eyes met. "Trust me, Rose Weasley, if all trolls looked like you, there'd be a great deal more human-troll hybrids, if you catch my meaning…"

"Stop it!" she said sternly, but when she pulled him up to face her, the blush creeping down her neck betrayed her mortification. "Please, help me find something to wear."

Rose Summoned two dresses from within the mess of her bedroom. "White or blue?" she asked, holding them up for him to compare.

He answered immediately. "Blue. It brings out your eyes."

"And my freckles, yuck," she said, pulling a face, "Blue throws them into such sharp relief."

"Don't you say a bad word about your freckles. I swear to you," he murmured, pulling her close, "I want to strip you down and count every single freckle on your body. All," Kiss. "Of," Kiss. "Them." Kiss.

"Is that a promise, Mr. Malfoy? Blue it is, then. I'd best clear this mess first, and get changed. Your parents wouldn't want us to be late. Merlin, it looks like the time Hugo and I blew up the Wheezes' laboratory…" she sighed.

"Let me take care of it." He performed a Vanishing Charm.

"Scorpius!" Rose shrieked, "Fuck! Where did my clothes go? How can I possibly go out now? I have nothing to wear – I _literally have nothing to wear_!" She was torn between flailing her arms wildly and covering herself as best she could. "Where did you Vanish them to? I _can't_ go out if I have no clothes!"

Scorpius chuckled, the sound coming from deep in his throat, and Vanished his own outfit. "Whoops," he said slowly, drawing her closer to him, "Well, we can't very well go to dinner like this, can we? I suppose…we'll just have to stay here, then," he pouted, raising an eyebrow mischievously.

"That would be wise…to avoid being arrested for public indecency, I suppose," Rose giggled, kissing him tenderly. "We'll tell your parents that something's come up…an unavoidable crisis…and…and we won't be able to attend…it would be…inappropriate for us to show our faces in this current state…I think we'll have to camp out here for a little while…" she said between kisses.

That was worth more than all the clothes in the world.

**AN: OMGTHEY'RENAKED Thanks for reading! I really appreciatee every single person who takes the time out to read my stories! I have a few notes:**

**They're 18 or 19 years old in this story and Rose is obviously about to meet Draco and Astoria for the first time (before she and Scorpius are incredibly side-tracked of course)**

**Rose and Scorpius are obviously at a very comfortable stage in their relationship ;)**

**Do you think she's more like Ron or Hermione when she's stressed? Tell me in a review!**

**I swear that was actually the most sexually explicit thing I've everr written and it's not even that explicit! It was so awkward to write…? Hope it turned out okay, please tell me!**

**As always, please, **_**please**_** review and tell me what you think! Feedback is the greatestt thing an author can receive and I cherish every single review I get! Favourite quotes and suggestions for improvement are **_**always**_** welcome!**


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